The Year 20,000 (Humorous Speech for Toastmasters Competation)

Imagine that today is January 1st, of the year 20,000. That's ONLY 18,000 years from now. It is a blink of an eye.  it is even quicker, it is just half a blink conditioned that you never open your eyes again. LOL

 

if earth makes it that far, you’ll be there... but you’ll be completely transformed:
Heavy people will turn into heavy oil,
light people will be light oil,
and gassy will be the source of natural gas. :D

You guys thought you will retired at 60, huh?  :D

So, what are some of the awaited changes that will happen?
1- For starter, Dammam and Khobar (two cities that full of traffic and detours) will be detours-free but based on my experience, Jubail- Dhahran highway will be still under-construction  (The highway always under construction)  :D even though we will be working from home by then.
 
2- Saudi Women will be finally on the driver seat but cars will be self-driven. :D
 
But according to a visionary professional, my optician :D Cars will no longer exist. The reason they won't exist is: "humans’ population". Think about it. If population continue to grow at the same rate as it is now, The population will reach a number that I called "Hassan" for discovering it  :D: represented by 1 followed by 34000 zeros. That’s more than the number of atoms on the universe.
 
Logically, Earth will get extremely heavy and fall off the solar system. :( We will be away from our beloved sun and we will be lost in outer space and then and only then we will freeze and die.  :D

That's not funny, People!! Danger is immanent. Earth relies on you and you must save it. So what can we do?

I think there are two solutions to this problem:
 
First,It is known that the sun is the heaviest plant in our solar system. So one thing we can do is simply we must hook earth to the sun witha chain  :D. So when the earth falls off, the sun will hold us still or we will drag it along with us and leave the other plants go figure.  :D
 
The other solution is to be able to travel faster the speed of light. Because if that happens people will be able to go back on time. So we will be able to say something like: our next meeting will be last Tuesday.  :D

The problem with this solutions though is that people might exploit this possibility. For example:

 
• Kids will always go to stormy day to have an official day off from school.
• Ladies will be able to redo their weddings until they are satisfied.
• And if I don't win today, you know what will happen. :D So, Evaluator save yourself the pain. We don’t have to do this all day? :D

Now, The field that will be out of control by the year 20,000 is neuroscience: the science of the brain and how it works. Neuroscience will advance so much that we will be able to literally read someone thoughts, download other people thoughts, and erase bad memory by manipulation brain neurons and their connections. That will be great for quite people like me who doesn’t like to talk a lot.

I just love silence. I love to go home, play a blank CD, :D turn the volume all the way up, :D rewind my favourite part of it, :D and think of absolutely nothing. Even Toastmaster will become Thought-Masters because words won't matter anymore. A Thought master will have to come up to the stage, close his or her eyes, and the challenge is to think straight thoughts for 5 to 7 minutes.

Scientifically proven, Women and men struggle with this: ladies have zillions of thoughts running in there minds at a particular moment and men can have absolutely none. :D

So for instance: Ann could be sitting here listening to me, paying full attention, while thinking: I wonder: what brand is Hassan’s Shirt? :D Why doesn’t my husband wear something nice like that? :D Ohh I need to call my husband to put food for our fish? Hmm, do we need to put some water for it too? :S Well fish don’t get thirsty. :D Ohh my god, fish lives in water. :D Ohh Satan, you made me kill my fish? Satan.. What’s Satan’s last name? :D  and many other questions.

 Ann: you need to get some help.

While in the other hand: Bill could be sitting here staring at me with one question: What? what?   What's going on?

Bill please see Ann's doctor.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I just can't wait for the year 20000. I really can't wait for the year 20,000 so let's head back to reality.

Creativity is a Joke II

Is a creative solution to a difficult problem nothing but a joke?

To get us started, consider the following joke: a group of armed robbers burst into a bank, line up customers and staff against the wall, and begin to take everything from them. Two of the bank’s accountants are among those waiting to be robbed. The first accountant suddenly gets something out of his pocket and put it in the other accountant's hand. The second accountant whispers, “What is this?” and The first accountant replied, “It’s the 100 bucks I owe you.

This is funny but it is also very smart and creative solution.

Jokes like these made me realize that creativity and humor have a lot of common. I now believe that a creative solution or let say break through is nothing but a physical joke. Both require a transition between two meanings by a connection point.

 To illustrate and prove my point, let take an example of each and analyze it:

 First the joke:

Sam walks into his boss’s office and say. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but you know how smart and hard worker I am. In face, I currently have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of thinking the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise.

Sam happily gets up to leave. When his boss asked: “By the way” “which three companies are after you?” Sam said: Well they are “The electric company, Water Company, and Phone Company” are after me to pay their bills.

If you analyze the joke you notice that it starts with something we are all familiar with. Then, there is a buildup before the punch line is reached. The punch line is what makes us laugh and it is usually a connection with another meaning that was not unexpected.

The connection point in the last joke are the words "after me" which is subject to misinterpretation or right interpretation.

Now let's take a creative solution example:
The people who invented the food can opening method got their idea from somewhere completely unrelated, or at least seem unrelated.

 They imitated the "opening" of a banana

Here the connection point is the word “open”.
We have an unsolved problem: A can needs to be opened.
We know a seemingly unrelated solved problem: We know how to "open" a banana. Why not open the can like a banana. Problem is solved.

The English writer William Plomer once said “Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected".

One profound similarity is the environment: when you tell a joke you must consider the time, the place and the people hearing the joke. You would not tell a joke in a funeral, nor tell a stereotype joke to people affected by the stereotype. Also, a creative idea has its time, place, and people.

Consider the following, a company called "Design that Matter" knew that millions of children in the developing world die each year because they we are born in a place that lack new born incubators. Buying incubators from the market and shipping them there is not a feasible solution because they are very expensive and if it breaks there is no one who can fix it. In one particular area,  they asked a "connection" question? What do these people have in abundance? What have they solved already?
They noticed that there are many Toyota Forerunner everywhere and it seems that these people have the spare parts and the skills to maintain these cars running. So they designed incubators completely from that car spare parts. Problem is solved and millions of children are saved.

Einstein famously said that "a problem cannot be solved in the same mindset that created them". You know now what he meant. You have got to look for seemingly unrelated connection.

Consider how David's mother used what she knew to solve her son's challenge in the following joke:

 So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride:

 “Ma”, he said to his Mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiancé.”

 Later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him.

“It’s that one”, said his mother.

 without blinking an eye.

 David shouted “how in the world did you know it was her?”

She said: I just don’t like her.

David's mother knew that mother in law don't usually like their son’s wife so she picked the one she didn't like.

In conclusion humor and creativity have the same structure, environment and require a connection between two meanings. That's why I think they are just two faces of one coin.

Creativity is a joke

Nowadays, whatever you read or look at, you would find the word creativity mentioned. I think that the word "creativity" is one of the most overused words out there to the extent that the word creativity has turned into a cliché just like "think outside the box" and "think different" have become. Everybody talks about creativity not only because it is an important topic but also because of human ego. Everybody wants to think of himself or herself as creative person including myself, Come on admit it, you do too.  Here I am jumping on the bandwagon and sharing my view on creativity.

So What’s the fuss all about?

The reason why creativity is important is because we live in the conceptual age as Daniel Pink calls this age in his great book "A Whole New Mind". It is no longer enough for a product to do the job. Therefore, mobile phones must be slick and neat; cars must be monster-like and hand made, and everything else needs creativity to be sold to people and to be sold to people it needs to touch or shock our senses. This is where creativity overlaps with humor. I believe that creative people must be funny or have a sense of humor. 

What do you think Einstein?

I think he agrees.

Why humor is part of creativity?

First, Read the following joke:

Two elderly men talking to each other, the first guy said moaning: Man, I am 83 years old, and my whole body hurt. How about you?

I feel great, I feel like I was just born.

The other guy furiously says: How #$%$# come?

The other guy says: I have no teeth, I have no hair and best of all, I just wet my pants. 

If you analyze the joke you can realize very quickly that it starts with something we are all familiar with otherwise we wouldn't be able to know what the funny part that's coming next is all about. Then, a buildup was given before a epiphany is reached with the punch line. The punch line is something that you didn’t expect and it has somewhat a connection with something totally new or forgotten. Now ponder the next philosophical question: If a funny joke is never heard, is it still funny? I don't know if an unheard joke is funny or not but a funny joke must be heard and laughed at. Finally, after the joke is heard many times it loses its humor and dies.

Now let’s examine creative thinking process, usually we would be working on an existing problem or a situation that needs improvement. We would mix and try different things until the “aha” moments comes and a connection is made. When a product or a solution is presented to people just like joke, you would get "That’s interesting" or "a smile" reaction. 

Another important similarity to consider is the product or the solution time, if iPad existed 20 years ago it would've been a complete failure because its time hadn't come. Also, a joke must be told in a right time and you mustn't tell a joke in a funeral  for example or else you will share the grave with the deceased.

So in a conclusion.. If you want to be creative you need to have a sense of humor and to have a sense of humor you must have a playful mind and look for connections where it is least expected.